


One afternoon at the Penis Flattening Station

by emceeaich



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:22:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23656807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emceeaich/pseuds/emceeaich
Summary: An eternally damned billionaire receives a disappointing message.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	One afternoon at the Penis Flattening Station

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The People of Wisconsin](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+People+of+Wisconsin), [laceblade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laceblade/gifts).



BAD PLACE, Interior Day

We see the torture floor of the BAD PLACE, a warehouse extending infinitely in all directions. The concrete floor has walking lanes clearly marked in YELLOW PAINT because a safe BAD PLACE is an efficient BAD PLACE. On one aisle, TODD, a lava demon, operates a PENIS FLATTENER, a monstrous piece of machinery which would not be out of place in a more conventional industrial setting. TODD pulls down a large lever with his muscular arm, veins of hot lava shining through as he works. DAVID KOCH, strapped into the the contraption, screams in ear-piercing agony each time TODD works the lever. The demon ignores the screams and instead monitors the small CONTROL PANEL just below his eye level, requiring him to crouch his immense bulk as he does so.

KOCH yells, "I was a powerful man while I lived!" 

TODD adjusts a dial, pulls the lever and KOCH screams again, in a higher register. 

KOCH gasps for air as the lever raises and pleads, "I beg you, I can most likely find you anything you want, even, a labor contract (don't tell my-"

KOCH screams mid-sentence as the lever goes down again. TODD hears these entreaties often, and already has a union contract, unlike SHAWN's direct reports.

A SLIME DEMON, wearing a disposable coverall for going on the torture floor, approaches TODD's station. They smile, exposing too many teeth, and wait for his attention. In the background, a SAFETY AND HYGIENE ROBOT, a low to the floor wheeled box festooned with manipulator arms, rolls of warning tape, sandwich-board signs for closing restrooms while cleaning, brushes, and buffing disks, scuttles behind the SLIME DEMON, methodically cleaning the drips left behind on the concrete floor.

TODD locks the machine's lever and turns to the SLIME DEMON. KOCH pants in the background during the reprieve.

"Tony, good to see you, you working torture now?"

The SLIME DEMON produces a LETTER and offers it to TODD from their safety gloved hand. "Message for the damned, from his surviving brother. Shawn read it and thought," the demon points at KOCH, "he should hear it. Can't be good." 

TODD and the SLIME DEMON enjoy a robust laugh. TODD takes the letter as the SLIME DEMON continues on their way. He unfolds the letter, a glob of SLIME on the edge of the paper dislodges and arcs gracefully landing on KOCHs nose. KOCH struggles against his restraints but cannot dislodge it.

TODD silently reads the letter before turning to KOCH and saying, "Your brother wrote you. That's a heck of a thing. Shawn thought you should hear it, and that doesn't happen often."  
TODD reads, "Terrible news, brother. Our years of work suborning Wisconsin is coming apart. We've lost control of the Supreme Court. People braved a plague-"

TODD pauses mid-sentence to ooh loudly at the mention of a plague before resuming. As he continues, SHAWN appears in vignette to the viewer's upper right, and takes over reading the letter.

"People braved a plague to vote, and two of our hand picked state supreme court justices lost their seats. All this work to turn Wisconsin further into a machine to enrich us could come to naught. Please think of me and our work as you reign in Hell."

"With affection, your brother."

KOCH weeps.

TODD throws the letter into a recycling bin, unlocks the lever and resumes his work. 

KOCH's weeping returns to screams as the PENIS FLATTENER restarts.

**Author's Note:**

> In April of 2020, the people of Wisconsin braved the weather and the COVID-19 outbreak to vote in an election. They stood, six feet apart, in long lines because of the shortage of polling stations for hours to cast ballots. Despite the best efforts of the State and National GOP and the Supreme Court of the United States to sabotage the election, two of the high court justices installed by the previous governor, a puppet of the notorious Koch Brothers, to do the bidding of the Koch brothers, lost their seats.
> 
> I dedicate this story to the People of Wisconsin, fighting to take their state back from goons and thieves in penthouses and mansions.
> 
> Proofreading and beta read by @cynthia1960. Any errors are the responsibility of the author.


End file.
